Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern era, feeling of happiness has become an essential part of everyday
life
. It is considered by many
people
that the time span of being an adolescent brings
people
the happiest moments in their lives
while
there are others who suppose that maturity helps
people
to gain their happiness regardless of having to be more responsible. In
this
essay, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the former viewpoint for reasons I will outline below. It is not surprising that nowadays teenage
life
becomes more stressful and severe.
Teenagers
seem to be fully occupied with busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
at school
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
virtue of high expectations and academic goals.
Therefore
,
children
are forced to sacrifice their own time for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
and relaxation which
then
be spent on studying
instead
. It is a common notion that studying with good results which is considered as an invisible pressure is the responsibility of
teenagers
.
However
,
life
Add an article
the life
a life
show examples
of a teenager is much
carefree
Correct quantifier usage
more carefree
show examples
and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get involved in the
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
.
Teenagers
do not need to compete with
complexity
Correct article usage
the complexity
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in order to struggle to earn a living and withdraw a substantial financial burden as parents facilitate every aspect of their child’s
life
to ensure
children
have tranquil and secure conditions to grow up.
Besides
,
children
can easily acquire a sense of satisfaction as there are
adults
who are willing to meet their needs.
Thus
,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the living of
teenagers
is a sphere of comfort and convenience.
Happiness
Add an article
The happiness
show examples
of an adult is somewhat different to that of
children
. Mature
people
find their satisfaction
regarding
Change preposition
in
show examples
the success index and self-achievement in
life
. A feeling of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
of crucial goals makes
adults
elated and significantly stimulated as a reward for great efforts. Generally, exterior values are the primary criteria that make mature
people
excited and fascinated.
Nevertheless
, as they get older and are separate from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
,
adults
have to be more thoughtful and independent to survive
ups
Correct article usage
the ups
show examples
and downs in
life
.
Along with
maturity,
adults
have to be affordable for every expense in
life
unless they are unable to obtain what they strongly desire. On that account,
adults
become more obsessed with work and manage
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extensive tension. Years living as a fully grown-up is filled with harshness and worries. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that
teenagers
are at their happiest time in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
whole
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
although
it is primarily held that adulthood creates a much happier despite responsibilities.
Submitted by lam.tophung on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Formative years
  • Autonomy
  • Fulfillment
  • Wisdom
  • Significant choices
  • Exploration
  • Financial responsibilities
  • Deeper relationships
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishments
  • Character development
  • Life milestones
  • Adulthood
  • Adolescence
  • Carefree nature
  • Achievements
  • Life satisfaction
  • Stress-free
  • Independence
  • Responsibilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: