IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to successful career, while other believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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It is argued that the best way to achieve the high levels is enrolling the
university
Use synonyms
 course
while
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 others disagree and think that there are more pressing issues that need to enter the workforce right after high school. It is
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 of
this
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 writer that
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 choice is the best option. There can be no debt
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
university
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 or college is
one
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 of the ultimate
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
 to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful career. When taking part in the course in there, the
job
Use synonyms
 chance of
people
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 can
Add a missing verb
be enhace
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enhace
Correct your spelling
enhanced
 dramatically because they have profound comprehension - which only be achieved through the lectures. Not only that, they can easier to get a
job
Use synonyms
 after graduating. In the case of two
people
Use synonyms
 -
one
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 is the
univeristy's
Correct your spelling
university's
university
 student and the other
one
Use synonyms
 is getting a
job
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 straight- they apply for the same
job
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.
However
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, the person who
going
Wrong verb form
goes
show examples
 to
university
Use synonyms
 can
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 a
job
Use synonyms
 because of qualifications and good
citizens
Replace the word
citizenship
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there is a
minior
Correct your spelling
minor
minonity
Correct your spelling
minority
 that
enter
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
 the workforce right after leaving high school
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be more
truimphly
Correct your spelling
triumph
triumphs
. The belief is based on a host of
millionaries
Correct your spelling
millionaires
 around the world
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not join
the
Correct article usage
apply
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college or
university
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 courses. In spite of the fact that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 don't go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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 , they can not get more qualifications.
Therefore
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, it can be
one
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 of the barriers
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
 them from reaching
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 favorite
job
Use synonyms
. Another point is starting work too early can put
people
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 under
pressures
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
show examples
. On top of that,when they apply for many many firms but nowhere
accept
Correct subject-verb agreement
accepts
show examples
 them.
As a result
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, they will easily
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
distressing
Replace the word
distressed
show examples
 and want to
be give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 up.
Thus
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,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 should go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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 if they have opportunities.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay has shown it is more effective to make an attempt and
thoroughing
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
thorough
 yourself day-to-day through learning more useful
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 at schools and reading books.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
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