some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a suceesful career, while others believe that it is better to get job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
think that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to
university
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or college is the best choice for
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
. But others argue that
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
a
job
Use synonyms
after graduating from high school is better. Personally, I agree with the first statement.
This
Linking Words
essay would mention both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
. It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
that studying at
university
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is the shortest way to be
suceesful
Correct your spelling
successful
. And
people
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who go to
university
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would have more opportunities to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. A quality degree from a good
university
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will help
people
Use synonyms
find it easier to find a
job
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and get high salaries.
Although
Linking Words
studying at
university
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will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, students in
university
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make good friends and communicate with
people
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of the same
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
. Specially,
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
parents want their child
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
to
university
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to have more knowledge.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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believe that get a
job
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immediately after graduating from high school
instead
Linking Words
of
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to
university
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.
Due to
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the fact that
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
to work after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
can
accumulation
Replace the word
accumulate
show examples
more experience than
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
four years in
university
Use synonyms
and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
many relationships.
However
Linking Words
, very few businesses want to
recruitment
Replace the word
recruit
show examples
an employee who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
degree.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Insufficient
Change preposition
with Insufficient
show examples
professional knowledge,
people
Use synonyms
just get a
job
Use synonyms
with low salaries than a labour from
university
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
a
job
Use synonyms
after graduating from high school would have more experience and can earn money soon, but they cannot find a quality
job
Use synonyms
with high salaries like
university
Use synonyms
graduates. That
why go to
Add the comma(s)
, why go to university or college,
show examples
university
Use synonyms
or college is more convenient in the future.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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