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some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a suceesful career, while others believe that it is better to get job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #suceesful #career #job #school
Many
people
 think that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
university
 or college is the best choice for
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
. But others argue that
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 a
job
 after graduating from high school is better. Personally, I agree with the first statement.
This
 essay would mention both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
. It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
 that studying at
university
 is the shortest way to be
suceesful
Correct your spelling
successful
. And
people
 who go to
university
 would have more opportunities to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. A quality degree from a good
university
 will help
people
 find it easier to find a
job
 and get high salaries.
Although
 studying at
university
 will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, students in
university
 make good friends and communicate with
people
 of the same
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
. Specially,
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 parents want their child
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
 to
university
 to have more knowledge.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that get a
job
 immediately after graduating from high school
instead
 of
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to
university
.
Due to
 the fact that
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 to work after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 can
accumulation
Replace the word
accumulate
show examples
 more experience than
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 four years in
university
 and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 many relationships.
However
, very few businesses want to
recruitment
Replace the word
recruit
show examples
 an employee who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
degree.
In addition
,
Insufficient
Change preposition
with Insufficient
show examples
 professional knowledge,
people
 just get a
job
 with low salaries than a labour from
university
.
To sum up
,
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 a
job
 after graduating from high school would have more experience and can earn money soon, but they cannot find a quality
job
 with high salaries like
university
 graduates. That
why go to
Add the comma(s)
, why go to university or college,
show examples
university
 or college is more convenient in the future.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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