Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is widely believed that

music

plays a vital part of all human

culture

for a wide range of reasons. As I agree with the point of view about a good

way

to bring

people

of different cultures and ages

Change preposition

through

show examples

music

. First of all,

this

is because

music

is something that accompanies

throughout

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our lives.

Music

can express

culture

, customs and history. Taking Chinese traditional

music

as an example, I’ve been watching some musicians who perform traditional-style musical instruments at a plaza in other countries, which attract many

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

attention,

this

is one of the best

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

to connect

people

back to the past and form a part of

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

identity.

Secondly

music

arouses emotion in a

way

that words cannot, meanwhile, we can make friends with the help of

music

even

people

Correct word choice

though people

show examples

have problems

Change preposition

apply

show examples

speaking another language.

In addition

music

is a

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

show examples

of learning

language

Correct article usage

a language

show examples

as well as

way

of enjoyment. Children are delighted to listen to

music

as parents play for them regardless the

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

. Parents and teachers would like to teach and interact with kids through the

way

music

, children appear to sing in a group creating a connection between participants.

Furthermore

, children’s preferable

music

would develop

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

in learning

music

from around the world

such

as pop

music

, jazz, R&B etc. In short,

music

is a link for adults to educate children about

culture

, customs and history. In conclusion,

music

is a necessary part of human development,

while

Correct word choice

and

show examples

I truly believe that the power of

music

can express emotions,

culture

Add an article

a culture

the culture

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

words cannot.

Submitted by chasiuzhu on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People trend to travel longer distance nowadays than in the past. What are reason for this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done be men. What do you think made these changes happen? What's your opinion about it?

Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

“Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programmes regardless of their level of academic ability”. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.