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Writing Samples
Band 5

In most countries, multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #companies #products #trend #quality #life
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Multinational companies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a good hold and network in their market. Through which they
manuplate
Correct your spelling
manipulate
 the customers, by
provideing
Correct your spelling
providing
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
, pretending to be significant
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. As multinational
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 and their
producats
Correct your spelling
products
 are more and more prominent, in most countries. In our quality of
life
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 trend is seriously damaging. In our day to
life
Use synonyms
, we are busy with our work schedules. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, we are not able to prepare
food
Use synonyms
 at home, which is much
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, multinational
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 like Burger King, Pizza Hut,
Subway
Correct word choice
and Subway
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 chains. Their main USP is to provide instant
food
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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customers.
Due to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 the citizens are much
dependable
Correct quantifier usage
more dependable
show examples
 on their
products
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
To
show examples
 some
extend
Replace the word
extent
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, it is good
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 them as we have
satisfy
Fix the infinitive
to satisfy
show examples
 our hunger needs, as we are not able to spend time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooking.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, we are able to spend more time
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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seems to have much
productive
Correct quantifier usage
more productive
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hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 for our carrier growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with the statement. As these
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 multinational companies are massively affecting health our health. As their
products
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doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 provide any minerals and
nutrieant
Correct your spelling
nutrients
nutrient
 to our body.
In a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 recent
studies
Correct the article-noun agreement
study
show examples
 done by
Food
Use synonyms
 and
Nutrieant
Correct your spelling
Nutrient
regualatory
Correct your spelling
regulatory
 board,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
came up with surprising facts that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation in age between 20 to 40 years. These people had high
cholestrole
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
 and heart disease, they had adopted fast
products
Use synonyms
 provided by these multinational
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 in their
life
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. In my conclusion,
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 should be given importance in our
life
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 rather than having junk
food
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products
Use synonyms
 provided by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multinational companies.
While
Linking Words
 cooking
food
Use synonyms
, you know what all things are adding as
ingrediants
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, as we don't how these multinational
food
Use synonyms
 chains prepare their
food
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 us.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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