IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovation
Nowadays, the benefits of modern technology have begun to become a major debate topic, as many believe that there are more negative effects than positives.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why I agree with
this
 notion
as well as
 my opinion on the matter.  Because of modern technology, the greatest electronics were invented and built, just like; phones, TVs and gaming consoles. These inventions,
however
,
also
 come
along with
 major side effects like weight gain, loss of vision, a hunched back and an indented skull
due to
 prolonged usage of headphone sets when playing games on consoles,
for example
. These gadgets
also
 affect social interactions as they would result in a decline the more people stay indoors, resulting in them isolating and eventually losing the ability to socialise,
therefore
 not making any friends causing them to end up in a depressed state. Mental health will
subsequently
 take a toll and in, turn affect society in
such
 a way that it is no longer functional. To give an example, society is set to collapse and predicted to happen in the near future, because, currently when a child is born they are subjected to watching TV to distract and occupy them, and so, the addiction starts as soon as they are born. In conclusion, in my opinion, I fully agree that there are more adverse effects technology brings about as stated above physical and mental health will become so affected people will no longer be able to live a fulfilled life as they would be too unfit and mentally unstable to do so.
Submitted by amaladem24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: