In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

In some
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
elderly
people
are being motivated to
work
longer and not to retire. In my opinion,
this
trend
can bring benefits namely,
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
,
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
show examples
the feeling of loneliness among older
people
,
however
, there are downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
trend
including,
increase
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
among young
people
, make older
people
under stress. On the one hand, there are several merits of encouraging senior
people
countiue
Correct your spelling
continue
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
for longer and not to retire. The primary advantage of
this
trend
it can enhance the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. To illustrate, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
people
countiue
Correct your spelling
continue
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
for longer and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
retire governments can earn taxes from older
people
.
Therefore
, more taxes will government earn
via
Change preposition
from
show examples
elderly
people
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can use these funds to support other sectors namely, education, healthcare, and roads.
Mitigate
Wrong verb form
Mitigating
show examples
the feeling of isolation among older
people
is another merit of
this
trend
.
This
is because
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
will continue to
work
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
they can communicate with their colleagues in order to become social and less isolated.
On the other hand
, there are different drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
trend
. The first downside
,
Add a missing verb
is, increase
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
rate of
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
among youth
people
.
This
is because competition in jobs opportunity between young and senior
people
will
increase
.
Therefore
most companies will prefer senior
people
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
young
people
because senior
people
have more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
and skills. The second downside,
incentivies
Correct your spelling
incentives
incentivizes
incentivise
older
people
to
work
longer and not to retire can have a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
show examples
on senior
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health.
This
is because
work
people
at
olde
Correct your spelling
old
age make
people
more vulnerable to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
serious diseases namely, cancer, heart attack,
barin
Correct your spelling
brain
stroke result of
work
stress.
To sum up
,
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
my perspective , encouraging
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
to
work
longer and not to retire can bring upsides including ,
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
,
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
show examples
the feeling of isolation among senior
people
,
however
, there are demerits of
this
trend
such
as ,
increase
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
among young
people
, make
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
under stress.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • standard of living
  • ameliorated
  • mentoring
  • physical health
  • mental decline
  • workforce diversity
  • exacerbate
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • work-life imbalance
  • ageism
  • retirement planning
  • pension funds
  • job market dynamics
  • seniority
  • compulsory retirement age
  • productive capacity
  • intergenerational collaboration
  • mentality
  • employer attitudes
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