In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.
In some economy of
nations
elderly Add a comma
,nations
people
are being motivated to work
longer and not to retire. In my opinion, this
trend
can bring benefits namely, boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
economy
of Add an article
the economy
country
, Add an article
the country
a country
reduce
the feeling of loneliness among older Correct word choice
and reduce
people
, however
, there are downsides of
Change preposition
to
this
trend
including, increase
unemployement
among young Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
, make older people
under stress.
On the one hand, there are several merits of encouraging senior people
countiue
Correct your spelling
continue
work
for longer and not to retire. The primary advantage of Replace the word
working
this
trend
it can enhance the economy of country
. To illustrate, if Add an article
the country
a country
the
senior Correct article usage
apply
people
countiue
Correct your spelling
continue
work
for longer and not Fix the infinitive
to work
to
retire governments can earn taxes from older Fix the infinitive
apply
people
. Therefore
, more taxes will government earn via
elderly Change preposition
from
people
, which mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
government
can use these funds to support other sectors namely, education, healthcare, and roads. Add an article
the government
Mitigate
the feeling of isolation among older Wrong verb form
Mitigating
people
is another merit of this
trend
. This
is because aging
Change the spelling
ageing
people
will continue to work
, which mean
they can communicate with their colleagues in order to become social and less isolated.
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
On the other hand
, there are different drawbacks of
Change preposition
to
this
trend
. The first downside,
Add a missing verb
is, increase
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
the
rate of Change preposition
in the
unemployement
among youth Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
. This
is because competition in jobs opportunity between young and senior people
will increase
. Therefore
most companies will prefer senior people
than
young Change preposition
to
people
because senior people
have more experiences
and skills. The second downside, Fix the agreement mistake
experience
incentivies
older Correct your spelling
incentives
incentivizes
incentivise
people
to work
longer and not to retire can have a negative impacts
on senior Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
people
health. Change noun form
people's
This
is because work
people
at olde
age make Correct your spelling
old
people
more vulnerable to get
serious diseases namely, cancer, heart attack, Wrong verb form
getting
barin
stroke result of Correct your spelling
brain
work
stress.
To sum up
, For
my perspective , encouraging Change preposition
From
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
people
to work
longer and not to retire can bring upsides including , enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
Add an article
the
country
, Add an article
the country
a country
reduce
the feeling of isolation among senior Correct word choice
and reduce
people
, however
, there are demerits of this
trend
such
as , increase
unemployement
among young Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
, make aging
Change the spelling
ageing
people
under stress.Submitted by faiz3177 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite