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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
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There has been an ongoing debate regarding learning a foreign
language
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 at an early
age
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. Some individuals have the opinion that learning at the
age
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 of primary
school
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 can be more beneficial
compare
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compared
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 to
children
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 who are in secondary
school
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain both merits and demerits of
this
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 notion. Learning a foreign
language
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 at primary
school
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 can bring lots of positive consequences. The first and foremost effect is becoming bilingual. The ability of
children
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 to learn at an early
age
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 can reach a high level. In fact, their brain functions in order to distinguish sounds, and the alphabet
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 perfectly which in turn leads to bilingualism.
Moreover
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,
children
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 do not pay attention to grammar and other criteria in
language
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. Without considering details, they speak fluently and do not worry about their upcoming mistakes.
For instance
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, a high percentage of
children
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 cannot pronounce words correctly
due to
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 their
age
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,
However
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, they try to speak even with mistakes.
Therefore
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, learning a new
language
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 at an early
age
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 can be easier and
children
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 can profit
of
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from
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 the benefit more.
However
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,
acquainting
Verb problem
acquiring
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 with new
language
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 at primary
school
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 can have negative impacts on
children
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. Many kids are unable to pronounce words and
this
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 disability fosters a sense of failure and self-esteem. They are humiliated by peers which can have negative effects on
children
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’s mental health.
Furthermore
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, they do not learn the
language
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 deeply.
Thus
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, they have many problems
at
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with
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 grammar.
To sum up
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, Learning a foreign
language
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 can have both positive and negative impacts.
However
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, It is my firm conviction that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Learning can be
more easily
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easier
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 at an early
age
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 compared to older people
due to
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 their fresh mind.
Submitted by minaanazifi on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at an early age. However, the arguments lack depth and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear organization and do not effectively support the main points.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. The use of language does not convey clear and accurate meaning in some parts of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and word choice. There is also a lack of sentence variety and complexity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
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