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Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
There has been an ongoing debate regarding learning a foreign
language
 at an early
age
. Some individuals have the opinion that learning at the
age
 of primary
school
 can be more beneficial
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
children
 who are in secondary
school
. In
this
 essay, I will explain both merits and demerits of
this
 notion. Learning a foreign
language
 at primary
school
 can bring lots of positive consequences. The first and foremost effect is becoming bilingual. The ability of
children
 to learn at an early
age
 can reach a high level. In fact, their brain functions in order to distinguish sounds, and the alphabet
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 perfectly which in turn leads to bilingualism.
Moreover
,
children
 do not pay attention to grammar and other criteria in
language
. Without considering details, they speak fluently and do not worry about their upcoming mistakes.
For instance
, a high percentage of
children
 cannot pronounce words correctly
due to
 their
age
,
However
, they try to speak even with mistakes.
Therefore
, learning a new
language
 at an early
age
 can be easier and
children
 can profit
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the benefit more.
However
,
acquainting
Verb problem
acquiring
show examples
 with new
language
 at primary
school
 can have negative impacts on
children
. Many kids are unable to pronounce words and
this
 disability fosters a sense of failure and self-esteem. They are humiliated by peers which can have negative effects on
children
’s mental health.
Furthermore
, they do not learn the
language
 deeply.
Thus
, they have many problems
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 grammar.
To sum up
, Learning a foreign
language
 can have both positive and negative impacts.
However
, It is my firm conviction that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Learning can be
more easily
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
 at an early
age
 compared to older people
due to
 their fresh mind.
Submitted by minaanazifi on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at an early age. However, the arguments lack depth and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear organization and do not effectively support the main points.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. The use of language does not convey clear and accurate meaning in some parts of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and word choice. There is also a lack of sentence variety and complexity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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