Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Despite the excessive of sugary

products

Use synonyms

inducing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental disease, a myriad of people cannot encounter and quit these unhealthy diets.

While

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some experts suggest that to mitigate

this

Linking Words

dilemma and instigate citizens to better dietary systems, the government should upsurge those

products

Use synonyms

prices

Use synonyms

However

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, I strongly disagree with that proposal because

this

Linking Words

could be an impractical solution.

Initially

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, increasing the

prices

Use synonyms

of any product which poses a threat

Change preposition

show examples

consumers, has not an effective impact on the populace.

Although

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those individuals are suffering from diseases and side-effects that result from overuse of those

products

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as diabetes, metabolism issues and being overweight, they cannot abandon

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

diets. exactly as the eminent example,

while

Linking Words

a vast majority of smokers

afflicted

Add a missing verb

are afflicted

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by lethal diseases

as a result

Linking Words

of heavy smoking, they cannot give up

this

Linking Words

habit and spend considerable amounts against

sigarettes

Correct your spelling

cigarettes

That is

Linking Words

why I am incompatible with

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

decision of raising the

prices

Use synonyms

of sugary

products

Use synonyms

However

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, there are other plausible solutions to lessen those

products

Use synonyms

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

Firstly

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, the concerned bodies should follow the safety and healthy terms.

While

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asserting that

leballling

Correct your spelling

labelling

systems and warning that those ingredients are

cautiously

Replace the adverb

cautious

show examples

should be consumed.

Moreover

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, the safety and health organization, in turn, should launch

periodically

Change the word

periodic

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campaigns, in order to spread

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness and cultivate citizens with the importance of prevention and preservation.

for instance

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, it was tangibly obvious during Covide 19 pandemic, when the world health organization played a quintessential role by announcing daily instructions and

finally

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the world overcame that pandemic.

Thus

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, those solutions could be more effective than increasing

prices

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there is a public consensus that overusing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugary

products

Use synonyms

has led to tremendous health crises. whilst I completely disagree that increasing

prices

Use synonyms

is an ideal solution to encounter

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, it will be better if the public awareness has been increased and the

manfacturers

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

have followed a proper

quite

Correct your spelling

quiet

show examples

safety and healthy system.

alaan0542Wed Aug 02 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

Some people say in order to prevent illnesses and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?