Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Despite the excessive of sugary

products

Use synonyms

inducing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental disease, a myriad of people cannot encounter and quit these unhealthy diets.

While

Linking Words

some experts suggest that to mitigate

this

Linking Words

dilemma and instigate citizens to better dietary systems, the government should upsurge those

products

Use synonyms

prices

Use synonyms

However

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, I strongly disagree with that proposal because

this

Linking Words

could be an impractical solution.

Initially

Linking Words

, increasing the

prices

Use synonyms

of any product which poses a threat

Change preposition

show examples

consumers, has not an effective impact on the populace.

Although

Linking Words

those individuals are suffering from diseases and side-effects that result from overuse of those

products

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as diabetes, metabolism issues and being overweight, they cannot abandon

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

diets. exactly as the eminent example,

while

Linking Words

a vast majority of smokers

afflicted

Add a missing verb

are afflicted

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by lethal diseases

as a result

Linking Words

of heavy smoking, they cannot give up

this

Linking Words

habit and spend considerable amounts against

sigarettes

Correct your spelling

cigarettes

That is

Linking Words

why I am incompatible with

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

decision of raising the

prices

Use synonyms

of sugary

products

Use synonyms

However

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, there are other plausible solutions to lessen those

products

Use synonyms

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

Firstly

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, the concerned bodies should follow the safety and healthy terms.

While

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asserting that

leballling

Correct your spelling

labelling

systems and warning that those ingredients are

cautiously

Replace the adverb

cautious

show examples

should be consumed.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the safety and health organization, in turn, should launch

periodically

Change the word

periodic

show examples

campaigns, in order to spread

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness and cultivate citizens with the importance of prevention and preservation.

for instance

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, it was tangibly obvious during Covide 19 pandemic, when the world health organization played a quintessential role by announcing daily instructions and

finally

Linking Words

the world overcame that pandemic.

Thus

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, those solutions could be more effective than increasing

prices

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there is a public consensus that overusing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugary

products

Use synonyms

has led to tremendous health crises. whilst I completely disagree that increasing

prices

Use synonyms

is an ideal solution to encounter

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, it will be better if the public awareness has been increased and the

manfacturers

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

have followed a proper

quite

Correct your spelling

quiet

show examples

safety and healthy system.

alaan0542Wed Aug 02 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people use social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram to share information. Why are these sites so popular? What are the communication problems related to the use of these sites?

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With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?