IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram describes the steps and equipment used to make
bricks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for the building industry. Generally, the manufacturing process takes about 6 main steps before the
bricks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are packed in a truck to be delivered to a construction site.
The first step is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 digging clay using the digger, after that, the clay is
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 transferred into a metal grid where it is rolled and mixed with water and sand to form the mould.
Next,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

when the mould is formed it is placed into a wire cutter that cuts the preferred size of
bricks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the cut
bricks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are put into a drying oven and
stays
Change the verb form
stay

The singular verb stays does not appear to agree with the plural subject bricks. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 in there between 24 to 48 hours after which they are taken into a kiln of low temperatures,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, onto the boiling kiln of 1300 degrees Celsius.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
bricks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 spend 48 to 72 hours in the cooling chamber until they are cool enough to be packaged and transferred to the
builders
Change to a genitive case
builder's
builders'

It appears that the word builders should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
 industry.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • extraction
  • raw material
  • digger
  • metal grid
  • debris
  • molded
  • wire cutter
  • drying ovens
  • firing process
  • kiln
  • cooling chamber
  • delivery
  • construction sites
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