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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Students should spend more time to working before begining the university studies. Do you argee or disargee?

#students #time #university #studies #argee #disargee
It
is think
Change the verb form
is thought
show examples
 that young ages who started to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should spend
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
 time to
apply
Add the preposition
forapply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
.
While
 I argue that, I totally agreed that teenagers can be allowed to experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earning activities. The first reason is gaining opportunities when they graduated
their
Change preposition
from their
show examples
 course. Working before beginning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university is one of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
experiences
help
Correct pronoun usage
that help
show examples
 with their development. Attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earning activities
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 period of
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time is better than the one who didn’t use to employ any
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
.
Furthermore
, they can make the social relation to invest
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 careers.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
, who be able to
making
Change the verb
make
show examples
 profits, can afford to their independent life. The second reason, they don’t need to depend on their parent’s finance. Applying
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 part-time
job
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to pay several costs
such
 as eating, renting housing,
shopping
Correct word choice
and shopping
show examples
. They
also
 gain
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 enough for later.
Finally
, they will learn
procedures
Correct article usage
the procedures
show examples
 of the management balance.
For example
, the current generations who joined the
job
, can
started
Change the verb form
start
show examples
 up their business more
successful
Change the word
successfully
show examples
 than the past generations.
Thus
, they will
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 more early than the same age. In conclusion, enrolment the
job
 not only
improvement
Replace the word
improves
show examples
 themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 a new step in
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
 society. In my opinion, the government
also
 embark
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 encouraging the students in taking part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earning activities.
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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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