IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some are of the opinions that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #leaders #leadership #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 assume that famous
people
Use synonyms
 and
leaders
Use synonyms
 were born with special characteristics.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
are arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that they learn
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 when they grow older. In my opinion, the latter is more crucial because learning and practising can lead us to a better life or to become good
leaders
Use synonyms
. It is true that certain individuals are born with distinctive personal traits that can lead to talented
leaders
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 who have been charming, persuasive and negotiating since they were young become good
leaders
Use synonyms
 compared to those who lack these
leadership
Use synonyms
 characteristics.
For example
Linking Words
, a child who acted as a lawyer when they played in childhood.
Then
Linking Words
, they would become a president when they are old.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 can
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
 through proper training and effort.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are many universities all over the world that teach about them and individual coaching appears in some countries. In the universities, they train a person to be a perfect leader.
For instance
Linking Words
, public speaking is one of the
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 and we can learn it details in the universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can guide a person who is shy and lacks confidence to have the essence of good body language, good pronunciation and other elements of good public speaking. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some traits of a good leader may be inherited, we can learn
leadership
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 in many places if we have a strong desire to learn them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my point of view having special characteristics in childhood is not crucial to becoming a good leader.
Submitted by aungmyatthu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Well done in addressing both views and expressing your own opinion. Make sure to use specific examples to support your points more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, try to link your ideas more coherently with appropriate transition words and phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: