IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #money #railways #roads
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Spending much
budgets
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budget
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 on railway systems is considered
as
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apply
show examples
a better approach in comparison with
roads
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.Some critics believe that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should pay considerable attention to these infrastructures.I totally disagree with allocating much more finance
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 railways and through
following
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the following
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 paragraphs I elaborate
some
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on some
show examples
 aspects of
this
Linking Words
 public issue. There are numerous benefits
regarding
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to
show examples
 the expansion of road systems.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , countless numbers of individuals are willing to commute
via
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apply
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using their personal cars daily which means
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
a necessity
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 of
Use synonyms
roads
Change the noun form
road
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 access should be on
top
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the top
a top
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 priority of the proposed government’s
budgets
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budget
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, in terms of
overall
Linking Words
 coverage of
roads
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 and paths, it is inevitable that there are some mountainous regions
in particular
Linking Words
 areas of a country which
makes
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make
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 it impossible to provide
proper
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a proper
show examples
 structure for railways.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Iran where I reside ,whole western parts of the country are
coverd
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covered
 by hills and in-depth
vallies
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valleys
 which makes it impossible to
develope
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develop
 railroads .So road paths would be a plausible approach in those zones and dedicating
govermental
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governmental
government
 finance there sounds more
resonable
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reasonable
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,utilizing
roads
Use synonyms
 allows citizens to stick to their time schedules and it provides incomparable convenience
yet
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 saving a great deal of time
due to
Linking Words
 using their private vehicles.
In other words
Linking Words
 ,the more car available
in
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on
show examples
 paths, the more demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 road expansion is witnessed.
However
Linking Words
, subway systems have offered a non-challenging yet low-fee mean of transition for passengers through preceding decades,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 consideration
to
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for
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 and highways expansion infrastructures are needed. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
, advocates of railroad
developements
Correct your spelling
developments
development
confess that more shares should be spent by authorities on
this
Linking Words
 section,
increasing
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the increasing
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 trend of
individuals
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individual
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tendancy
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tendency
,including
me
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mine
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, depicts that allocating
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the goverment’s
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goverment’s
Correct your spelling
government’s
government
finance
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
 might be
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 accurate action.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
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