IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Museums are considered to be representative of a nation's culture. Most of these state of
art
Add an article
the art
show examples
 is accessible to everyone free of cost,
while
 some administrators are applying entry charges for exhibition
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. In my opinion, the benefits of charging
people
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks. I will elaborate
these
Change preposition
on these
show examples
 aspects in detail To commence with, art
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 are truly illustrative of national civilizations.
Implimentation
Correct your spelling
Implementation
 of certain restraints would eventually
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 to the state.
For example
, collected funds will help in
renovation
Add an article
the renovation
show examples
 of these centers.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 novel
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 can be introduced in order to attract more
people
 to these places which would in turn boost
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of a population.
In addition
,
due to
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
, more ticket collectors will be hired so it will help to increase
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 opportunities for the general public.
On the other hand
, if
people
 are allowed to visit these museums without any cost,
then
 it will definitely increase work pressure on the management on weekends.
In addition
, congested places will increase the risk of noise pollution and a source of trouble for
people
 living around. In order
to conclude
, imposing charges for admission to these artworks should continue to be implemented in the best interest of a country.
Submitted by qamar.rashida41 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: