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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Science is more useful than human judgement in stopping crime. To what extend do you agree?

#science #judgement #crime
Nowadays
science
 can be used to stop
crime
 effectively but it still
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
 to operate it.
while
 I agree that
science
 can be an essential tool to help
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
crime
, I believe that human capability is
also
 needed to help
stopping
Wrong verb form
stop
show examples
crime
. On one hand,
science
 is a new
technologies
Change the noun form
technology
show examples
 that help
police
 to prevent many people to commit harmful actions to one another. It can be a tool for the
police
 or a detective to investigate a
crime
 that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 observation in the laboratory.
In addition
, extract a piece of evidence from the
crime
scene
such
 as blood to be proof
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone that commits the
crime
 so that investigator can make a conclusion on how
this
scene
 happened.
On the other hand
, human judgment is
also
 crucial to stop
crime
 despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how advanced
science
 is.
A
Remove the article
Police
show examples
police
 or detective can pull a conclusion based on
Correct article usage
the obersevation
show examples
obersevation
Correct your spelling
observation
 that they conduct
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
crime
scene
.
Moreover
, by giving an
evaluate
Replace the word
evaluation
show examples
 to each other a result of what happened in a
crime
scene
 can be drawn and
then
 giving it to the press to be informed to other people.
To conclude
,
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
science
 and human judgment have a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 stopping
crime
. I believe
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two things can help
police
 or a detective to prevent many harmful
action
Change to a plural noun
actions
show examples
 that can
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
show examples
 bad things to
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of people. These two tools have to be the best
wayl
Correct your spelling
way
ways
 that
police
 can use.
Submitted by rizalestari on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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