Some people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others say that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Masses believe that there could not be any better way to improve public health than by increasing the variety of sports facilities. Others think that many measures are required like basic awareness, education and free medical camps. I will elaborate on these points in forthcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, the public thinks facilities like gymnasiums can improve general well-being. Physical activities are really helpful in the well-being of society. The gym can help folks stay fit. It could prevent many health issues like heart stroke and cancer.
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
doctors daily cycling and walking can help us save from many major physical problems which can occur in the future.
On the flip side of the coin, there are more important factors. Availability of hospitals and awareness are better ways for soundness. Linking Words
Not only
If the community Correct word choice
apply
can have
access to basic education Wrong verb form
had
then
it would be more beneficial but Linking Words
Linking Words
also
free fitness checkups can do much assistance. Rephrase
apply
Although
there are many dispensaries in rural areas Linking Words
but
treatments that they aid with are few in number. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, the government should open fitness centres every 20 kilometres with subsidised costs.
Linking Words
To conclude
, sports clubs, yoga activities and encouraging people to play games are great ways to stay healthy. Linking Words
However
, there are things which cannot be neglected as education and the care system are a lot more important areas. Linking Words
Last
but not least alternative solutions must be checked and tried to facilitate citizens in different sectors by the lawmakers.Linking Words
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas in a clearer structure, with a more explicit introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary, and be more precise in word choice.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and use a variety of grammatical structures.