IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
 has the important goal to improve
people
’s
lives
. I completely
agre
Correct your spelling
agree
 with
this
 statement since
science
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fundamental
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
’s knowledge to enhance the
quality
 of
people
’s
lives
 by updating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and upgrading the way of living. By learning
scince
Correct your spelling
science
, many
people
 can develop their understanding to develop the advancement of technology.
For example
, Elon Musk, a
billioner-scientist
Correct your spelling
billion scientist
 from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, have learned about
electricity
 for years to develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new type of car which is powered by
electricity
.
This
 product can be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
people
 to avoid the consumption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fuel energy, which is good for the environment. If
people
 use the
electricity
 car, they will probably reduce the highest rate of
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
 in the air.
As a result
,
people
 can potentially be healthier
due to
 the more
quality
 of fresh air breathed.
Science
 can probably trigger the upgrading of the way of living.
For instance
, the invention of
electricity
 by Thomas Alfa Edison
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 fundamentally changed the period of
people
’s working time. Many
people
 used to work just
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
 until
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
show examples
due to
 the lack of visibility at night
while
 they right now can do their work until
the
Correct article usage
apply
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night because of the availability of
electricity
 to power the lamp.
As a result
, the more time
people
 can work, the more money they can create.
Therefore
,
people
’s economic
quality
 can
also
 be increased because of the higher revenue acquired. In conclusion, I fully agree with the statement that mention
science
 has the important goal to improve
people
’s
lives
 because
science
 is the core of
people
’s knowledge to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
’s
lives
quality
 by upgrading the technology and updating the way of living.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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