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Writing Samples
Band 6

The Charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The Charts below give information about the way in which water was used in different countries in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie
chart
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 provides information about the world’s
water
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usage
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 in several portions,
while
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 the bar
chart
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 shows as same contents but in selected countries. Both were taken in the year 2000 and the units are given in
percentage
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.
Overall
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, it is notable that the world’s most
water
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usage
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 field is agriculture,
however
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, when it comes to the various countries, agriculture does not have the highest
percentage
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 for every country. As can be seen from the table,
according to
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 the pie
chart
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, agriculture’s
water
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usage
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 has the highest
percentage
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, 70%, followed by industry’s
usage
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 which is 22%.
On the contrary
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, domestic’s
water
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usage
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 has the lowest proportion at 8% which is three times lower than industry. Turning to the bar
chart
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, India has the most agricultural
water
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usage
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 which is almost 100%, followed by China’s, nearly 70%,
whereas
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 Canada’s agricultural
water
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usage
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 significantly figured out the lowest
percentage
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 at 8%.
On the contrary
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, India’s industrial
usage
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 has the lowest at 3%, but Canada’s
usage
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 of industry is the highest at 80%. Interestingly, New Zealand’s first
usage
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 field is domestic, which is 46%,
whereas
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 most of the other countries have the very lowest
percentage
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 like 9, 5, and 12%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the contrary, whereas".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, usage, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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