11.Some people believe that parents have great influence on children’s growth but others think that influence from the outside plays more important role. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #influence #children’s #growth #role

Some

people

opine that parents play a great role in our childhood. Others state that children are impacted by outsiders. For me, it depends on who you get

along with

the most. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss two points of view and give my perspective on it. On the

one

hand, parents are vital in our lives, because they raise and educate us. The guy who you will be in the future depends on your background.

For example

, I am a person who is not really interested in computer games, because my parents are very old they did have a computer when I was young. I am

also

not good at giving my opinion on

one

thing, and I am an introverted guy. Most

people

can not understand why I am so quiet but in my childhood, I am not allowed to think a lot. My father was a serious teacher, and I always did

things

by the books.

Thus

, I have some problems

Change preposition

with

show examples

communication.

On the other hand

, peers are very crucial in our daily lives. When I was a middle school pupil, I joined

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those gangsters, I did some

things

terribly. Those were the bad

things

I did not want to admit them. Peerships are valuable when you are a teenager. You do not want to be the exception, and you would like to do the stuff most of your classmates do no matter whether it is right or wrong.

For instance

, I often see some good students hang out with miserable

people

. If no

one

corrects their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

one

day they will make a huge mistake. In a nutshell, I believe both our guardians and mates have big parts in our lives. Guardians teach us the basic

things

when we are kids. Peer pressure is essential for adolescents, and they do not want to be outsiders. Which

one

has the most influence on human beings? I believe different

people

have different answers

for

Change preposition

show examples

it.

Submitted by edward300225 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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introduction

Make sure to provide a clear introduction to the topic, including a thesis statement that outlines your main points.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the connection between ideas.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task comprehensively. This includes discussing both views thoroughly and stating your own opinion more explicitly.

supported main points

When giving examples, try to make them specific and detailed. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more engaging.

conclusion

A well-structured conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion will make your essay more cohesive.

balanced argument

You successfully discussed both viewpoints on the influence of parents and outsiders in a child’s development.

use of examples

Use of personal anecdotes makes your writing relatable and illustrates your points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11.Some people believe that parents have great influence on children’s growth but others think that influence from the outside plays more important role. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaur, dodos …). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems of problems can this cause? Whats solutions you can suggest?

in many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to be benefit them at individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+