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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

THE CHART SHOWS THE NUMBER OF WORKING HOURS PER WEEK, IN INDUSTRIAL SECTOR, IN 4 EUROPEAN COUNTRIES IN 2002

THE CHART SHOWS THE NUMBER OF WORKING HOURS PER WEEK, IN INDUSTRIAL SECTOR, IN 4 EUROPEAN COUNTRIES IN 2002
#hours #week #sector #european #countries
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The bar charts depict a comprehensive
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of the percentage of workers with working
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in 4 different
european
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European
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country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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, in
industrial
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the industrial
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 field, in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 3 countries, the majority of individuals spent the highest time
of
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apply
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working at 36-40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the other labourers spread widely in several range of working
hours
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. Upon observation, In
denmak
Correct your spelling
Denmark
, the dominant proportion of people who worked
at
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apply
show examples
36-40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
around
Add a missing verb
was around
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 70%. Both
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
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 and the UK had the same pattern
to
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as
show examples
denmak
Change the capitalization
Denmak
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 where
laborers
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labourers
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 consumed 36-40
hours
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 per
week
Use synonyms
 around 80% and 50%, respectively.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, France was commanded by
Correct article usage
an employe
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employe
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employee
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 who used 31-35
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 per
week
Use synonyms
 with a range
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
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 a half. Shifting to
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 explanations,
Submitted by zia_ardhi on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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