14.Although families have powerful influence on children, the influence that comes from outside the family plays a bigger part in children’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children's development is mainly impacted by their families, but there is no denial effect from others. I absolutely agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion, thanks to modern technological

improvement

Fix the agreement mistake

improvements

show examples

the

Punctuation problem

, the

show examples

younger generation easily influences others. First of all, in the incipient period, scions mostly influence their mature

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, but these effects gradually replace the other,

for example

Linking Words

, peers, natural and cyber environment. In

this

Linking Words

case,

this

Linking Words

effect is not always beneficial

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

violence, crime, smoking, and

vulgarism

Use the right word

vulgarity

show examples

are

behaviour

Fix the agreement mistake

behaviours

show examples

that the younger generation should be away from

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, children's character mainly shapes others' opinions and behaviour. In my opinion, mature

should

Check wording

people should

show examples

realize

Use the right word

realise

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation and save the younger generation from these negative effects. If their parent does not spend enough time with their

child

Punctuation problem

child,

show examples

it should be a harmful consequence later on much more harmful effect.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the family impact is never underestimated because it always affects a child's psychology.

Thus

Linking Words

, from

starting

Correct article usage

the starting

show examples

point of each life

parents'

Punctuation problem

, parents'

show examples

behaviour significantly

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

the children's character

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

the younger ones learn

anything

Check wording

everything

show examples

from them directly and it becomes their truth.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it gradually changes, so technological improvements accelerate

this

Linking Words

process

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as social networks

thanks

Punctuation problem

, thanks

show examples

to gathering people.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, schoolmates , teachers, and peers

also

Linking Words

significantly affect their life because they spend

their most of

Correct word order

most of their

show examples

time with them. In

this

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

case

their

Punctuation problem

, their

show examples

effects are more than their parents.

To conclude

Linking Words

, from

starting

Correct article usage

the starting

show examples

point of life

maturity

Punctuation problem

, maturity

show examples

are

Verb problem

has

show examples

a major impact on the scion

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

it gradually replaces their other influences,

such

Linking Words

as online groups,

school-mares

Use the right word

schoolmates

show examples

, and peers.

2083749065

Aug 3, 2023

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task achievement

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and uses examples to explain it. This will help to make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Always check your sentences for grammar and clarity. This will improve the flow of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use clear connecting words to show your ideas. Words like 'firstly', 'secondly', or 'for example' can help with this.

positive

You present an interesting view on the influence of family and external factors on child development.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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