We cant help everyone in the world that needs help , so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is commonly believed that not
everyone
who is in need
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
be
be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
helped
Verb problem
needed
show examples
,
hence
, priority ought to be given only to one’s own nation and society. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
such
a view because in order to ensure that
everyone
is united,
everyone
should be treated equally and given the assistance that they need. On the one hand, I believe that it is vital to assist our
people
or fellow citizens. In most communities, there are individuals who are impoverished or disadvantaged.
In other words
, it is possible to find homeless
people
no matter how advanced a country is, and for those who are concerned about
this
issue, there are usually chances to volunteer time or donate money to help and support the
people
.
For example
, In Iran,
people
can help in a variety of ways, from donating clothing to serving free food.
Moreover
, they participate in local charities and raise money for the poor.
On the other hand
, I
also
believe that we have
Correct article usage
an obligations
show examples
obligations
Fix the agreement mistake
obligation
show examples
to help those who live beyond our national borders. In some countries,
people
need foreign aid to survive.
This
can be
due to
their financial instability, political systems or even natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
. Neighbouring countries are accountable to hand in some help to ensure that
everyone
in the affected country has a productive life .
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
African countries,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need money
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
vaccines and other basic equipment, and a small donation to an international charity might have a much greater impact than assisting our local area. In conclusion, it is true that we are not able to help
everyone
, but in my opinion, national boundaries should not stop us from helping those who are in need. If
everyone
had
this
mentality, the world would be a better place to live.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more focused and explicitly restate your position. Also, provide a roadmap of your supporting arguments in the introduction.
task response
Pay close attention to the task prompt and make sure your response directly addresses all aspects of the statement. Provide a clear and well-structured argument throughout your essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: