IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of good. Other argue that customers should avoid buying good with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #customers
Some
people
 believe that producers and shopping malls should be responsible for reducing the quantities of packaging done on their
products
while
 others would argue that buyers should stop purchasing goods with excess packaging.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 buying the product will not be able to notice relevant
information
 when the packaging is cumbersome, I believe that the producers and the stores need to attract buyers by keeping the packaging simple. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 are of the opinion that important
information
 about the goods will not be easily accessible with huge packaging and as
such
 should be avoided
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Information
such
 as expiry date,
nutritional
Correct word choice
and nutritional
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 value are of interest to many
people
 when buying consumable items and should be placed where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be seen easily.
Moreover
, searching for
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
 on several items during shopping can result in a waste of time.
For example
, in 2021, Tribune newspaper reported that 80% of
people
 shopping in malls are keen
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
information
 on the packages of
products
 purchased for personal use.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
 believe that the sole responsibility of reducing the amount of packaging on
products
 is for the manufacturers and supermarkets in order to get
people
 to buy their
products
. Simple packaging will draw the attention of more
people
 to the product and eventually result in
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 sales.
Likewise
, leading to rapid turnover of these items with huge income for the company.
For instance
, In 2018, a milk production factory made double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the money made in the previous year by changing the packaging of the product. In conclusion,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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while
 it is argued by some that consumers should
avod
Correct your spelling
avoid
products
 with excess packaging because relevant
information
 will not be easily noticed.
This
 essay is of the opinion that companies and supermarkets should make packaging simple to get more
people
 to buy their
products
.
Submitted by larryb3010 on

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