IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of good. Other argue that customers should avoid buying good with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #responsibility #amount #customers
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that producers and shopping malls should be responsible for reducing the quantities of packaging done on their
products
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while
Linking Words
 others would argue that buyers should stop purchasing goods with excess packaging.
Although
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,
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apply
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people
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 buying the product will not be able to notice relevant
information
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 when the packaging is cumbersome, I believe that the producers and the stores need to attract buyers by keeping the packaging simple. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, some
people
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 are of the opinion that important
information
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 about the goods will not be easily accessible with huge packaging and as
such
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 should be avoided
..
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.
...
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Information
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such
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 as expiry date,
nutritional
Correct word choice
and nutritional
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 value are of interest to many
people
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 when buying consumable items and should be placed where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be seen easily.
Moreover
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, searching for
these
Change the determiner
this information
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information
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 on several items during shopping can result in a waste of time.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2021, Tribune newspaper reported that 80% of
people
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 shopping in malls are keen
about
Change preposition
on
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 the
information
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 on the packages of
products
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 purchased for personal use.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group of
people
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 believe that the sole responsibility of reducing the amount of packaging on
products
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 is for the manufacturers and supermarkets in order to get
people
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 to buy their
products
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. Simple packaging will draw the attention of more
people
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 to the product and eventually result in
increase
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increased
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 sales.
Likewise
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, leading to rapid turnover of these items with huge income for the company.
For instance
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, In 2018, a milk production factory made double
of
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apply
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the money made in the previous year by changing the packaging of the product. In conclusion,
,
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apply
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while
Linking Words
 it is argued by some that consumers should
avod
Correct your spelling
avoid
products
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 with excess packaging because relevant
information
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 will not be easily noticed.
This
Linking Words
 essay is of the opinion that companies and supermarkets should make packaging simple to get more
people
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 to buy their
products
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.
Submitted by larryb3010 on

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