Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While

Linking Words

it is commonly thought

Use synonyms

parents

Correct word choice

that parents

show examples

should supervise their

children

Use synonyms

’s

activities

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Change preposition

apply

show examples

others believe

children

Use synonyms

should have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,

parents

Use synonyms

should let them

Verb problem

have

show examples

freedom

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, it is argued that

parents

Use synonyms

should supervise their

children

Use synonyms

’s

activities

Use synonyms

. The main reason is that the

children

Use synonyms

, nowadays, can access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

knowledge or anything in the world with

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

some bad things. The

children

Use synonyms

aren’t mature enough to know what

good

Verb problem

is good

show examples

or bad for them. Constant guidance helps

preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

them from engaging in harmful

behaviors

Use the right word

behaviours

show examples

such

Linking Words

as excessive screen time, substance abuse or associating with negative influences. Another reason

that

Verb problem

is that

show examples

, by overseeing academic and extracurricular

activities

Use synonyms

parents

Use synonyms

can ensure their

children

Use synonyms

stay focused and achieve their goals.

For instance

Linking Words

, many high-achieving students confirm that

thank

Correct subject-verb agreement

thanks

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

Use synonyms

parents

Check wording

parents'

show examples

involvement, they can succeed.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others claim that giving them more

freedom

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, it encourages their responsibilities and self-confidence. When

children

Use synonyms

are allowed to make decisions, they can learn from their mistakes and develop

solve-problem

Correct word choice

problem-solving

show examples

skills.

For example

Linking Words

, allowing the child to manage their study schedule may help them know the importance of time management.

Secondly

Linking Words

, being too

control

Replace the word

controlling

show examples

can destroy the relationship between kids and

parents

Use synonyms

, leading to rebellion or lack of trust. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that

parents

Use synonyms

should supervise their

children

Use synonyms

’s

activities

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

meanwhile, others assume that

children

Use synonyms

should have more

freedom

Use synonyms

. Personally, I tend to believe that giving kids more

freedom

Use synonyms

can do more good than harm.

yeshomeclass

Nov 6, 2023

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structure

Use a clear plan: start with a short view of both sides, then give your own view in one sentence, and end with a short conclusion.

coherence

Link ideas with simple words like first, next, and finally; also use however and in addition to show contrast.

grammar

Check grammar and word choice. Fix small errors like more freedom, access to knowledge, problem-solving skills, and use correct phrases.

content

Give a bit more clear and specific examples that relate to each point.

stance

You state your own view clearly.

structure

You use contrast to show both sides.

content

You include examples to back up ideas.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

watch
guide
limit
allow
freedom
safety
risk
trust
rule
choice
decision
child
parent
home
school
time
study
help
grow
plan
talk
listen
explain
reason
calm
respect
mature
age
family
future
example
balance

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents, who are choosing to educate children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

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