Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Dangerous it is clear to see that dangerous
sport
has taken many live so as doing nothing .Some people
think that it is their choice to choose if they want to practice
Correct your spelling
practise
the
dangerous Correct article usage
a
sport
or not .other think it should be banned .This
essay will examine both sides of the discussion.Then
i
will give my opinion on it.
On the one Change the capitalization
I
hand
Add a comma
,hand
people
think that dangerous sports
should be banned.Many people
think that when people
say dangeous
they think of broken bones or muscle these all are major Correct your spelling
dangerous
injury
but not fatal Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
however
that not
the case all the time Add a missing verb
is not
people
do die from dangerous sport
or suffer a fatal injury that causes them to be unable to walk or speak .Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For
example
many rock climbers especially free rock Add a comma
,example
climber
Fix the agreement mistake
climbers
that
do not use ropes to help them climb those guys end up dead when their hands slip or Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
do to other causes but they mostiy
die from the fall .What actually make dangerous Correct your spelling
mostly
sport
scary is what it
do to those Correct pronoun usage
they
people
brains . For instance, take deep diving or climbing whether Change noun form
people's
people
are at the top of the mountains or at the bottom of the ocean they get what is called an adrenaline rush that make
them Change the verb form
makes
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
like
Change preposition
apply
some what
free or light-headed.
Correct your spelling
somewhat
On the other
hand
some Add a comma
,hand
people
believe that dangerous sports
should be free to choose. This
is because if people
banned sports
what are those people
going to do yes some of them might stop on
Change preposition
apply
practiceing
dangerous Correct your spelling
practising
sports
which would be good but some people
might not .This
may be because for them dangerous sport
is the only way
for them to release that pent-up energy inside of them and that bad if the
Correct your spelling
they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
do
itChange the verb form
does
is
because now they Unnecessary verb
apply
toke
their only Correct your spelling
take
way
of getting that pent-up energy out of them . Now they have to find another way
to get that pent-up energy out the new way
might be releasing it in a bad way
or it might also
be in a good way
Also
some dangerous sport
.Namely free diving can be useful sometimes let's say somebody drowned in deep water who would come and save them in time before the rescue team does that rights the free diver that does a dangerous sport
.
In conclusionChange the punctuation
?
Add a comma
,
sport
has two sides.Should it be banned or should it be free for people
to choose? In my opinion, I think it should not be banned at all.Submitted by alfred on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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