Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Dangerous
sport
has taken many live so as doing nothing .Some
people
think that it is their choice to choose if they want to
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
dangerous
sport
or not .other think it should be banned .
This
essay will examine both sides of the discussion.
Then
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will give my opinion on it. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
people
think that dangerous
sports
should be banned.Many
people
think that when
people
say
dangeous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
they think of broken bones or muscle these all are major
injury
Fix the agreement mistake
injuries
show examples
but not fatal
however
that
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
the case all the time
people
do die from dangerous
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
or suffer a fatal injury that causes them to be unable to walk or speak .
For
example
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,example
show examples
many rock climbers especially free rock
climber
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climbers
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not use ropes to help them climb those guys end up dead when their hands slip or
also
do to other causes but they
mostiy
Correct your spelling
mostly
die from the fall .What actually make dangerous
sport
scary is what
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do to those
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
brains . For instance, take deep diving or climbing whether
people
are at the top of the mountains or at the bottom of the ocean they get what is called an adrenaline rush that
make
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makes
show examples
them
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some what
Correct your spelling
somewhat
show examples
free or light-headed.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
some
people
believe that dangerous
sports
should be free to choose.
This
is because if
people
banned
sports
what are those
people
going to do yes some of them might stop
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practiceing
Correct your spelling
practising
dangerous
sports
which would be good but some
people
might not .
This
may be because for them dangerous
sport
is the only
way
for them to release that pent-up energy inside of them and that bad if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because now they
toke
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
their only
way
of getting that pent-up energy out of them . Now they have to find another
way
to get that pent-up energy out the new
way
might be releasing it in a bad
way
or it might
also
be in a good
way
Also
some dangerous
sport
.Namely free diving can be useful sometimes let's say somebody drowned in deep water who would come and save them in time before the rescue team does that rights the free diver that does a dangerous
sport
.
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?
show examples
In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is clear to see that dangerous
sport
has two sides.Should it be banned or should it be free for
people
to choose? In my opinion, I think it should not be banned at all.
Submitted by alfred on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
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