The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls #report #information #two

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The graphs

illustrates

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illustrate

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the

youngester

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younger

activities

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such

Linking Words

as ;cultural and leisure

activities

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that the

boys

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and

girls

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do in their childhood.

Firtly

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First

, they both

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoyed

show examples

listening to music

however

Linking Words

a dramatically larger number of

girls

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liked reading. There were

also

Linking Words

many differences in terms of the children's preferred sports. It is crystal clear that

Remove the comma

apply

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there are some differences between these two charts.

Overall

Linking Words

, when we scrutinize the

Use synonyms

boys

Change noun form

boy's

boys'

show examples

cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

chart we can clearly see that in their

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

Add a comma

,time

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they are playing basketball soccer and skateboarding

additionally

Linking Words

they are

listening

Add the preposition

tolistening

show examples

music and play computer games too.

On the other hand

Linking Words

; they

also

Linking Words

read books to improve their culture. When we

taking

Wrong verb form

take

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a closer look at the second chart,

girls

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do dancing more than other

activities

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in their leisure time on top of that they do gymnastics and netball as well.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,they play computer games like

boys

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and

reading

Wrong verb form

read

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more books than

boys

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Listenin

Correct your spelling

Listening

Listen in

Listenin'

music

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to music

show examples

is the least popular

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activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

Change preposition

among

show examples

girls

Use synonyms

Submitted by haticecoza on Thu Aug 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

162 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie graph/chart
survey
cultural activities
leisure activities
participate
percentage
engage in
contrast
significantly
minimally
gender differences
equal participation
synthesize
trends
analyze
highlight
unexpected
popular/unpopular

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Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people believe that one-on-one lessons are better for learning while others think that group lessons are superior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.