The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.
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The graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the
youngester
Correct your spelling
younger
activities
such
as ;cultural and leisure
activities
that the
boys
and
girls
do in their childhood.
Firtly
Correct your spelling
First
, they both
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoyed
show examples
listening to music
however
a dramatically larger number of
girls
liked reading. There were
also
many differences in terms of the children's preferred sports. It is crystal clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are some differences between these two charts.
Overall
, when we scrutinize the
boys
Change noun form
boy's
boys'
show examples
cultural and leisure
activities
chart we can clearly see that in their
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
they are playing basketball soccer and skateboarding
additionally
they are
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
music and play computer games too.
On the other hand
; they
also
read books to improve their culture. When we
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
a closer look at the second chart,
girls
do dancing more than other
activities
in their leisure time on top of that they do gymnastics and netball as well.
Furthermore
,they play computer games like
boys
and
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
more books than
boys
.
Listenin
Correct your spelling
Listening
Listen in
Listenin'
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
is the least popular
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
girls
.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie graph/chart
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • engage in
  • contrast
  • significantly
  • minimally
  • gender differences
  • equal participation
  • synthesize
  • trends
  • analyze
  • highlight
  • unexpected
  • popular/unpopular
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