IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is the responsibility of the citizens to take care of the environment. While others say that it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #responsibility #citizens #care #environment #government
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Some individuals say that it is the responsibility of the citizens to look after
of
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apply
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the ecosystem .
Whereas
Linking Words
 others say that it is the authority that should take care of the
environment
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. In my opinion, the government is completely responsible to protect
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environment
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the environment
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 because they have
power
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the power
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 to promote regulations and
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
 awareness among
public
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the public
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. On the one hand, some believe individuals
are have
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have
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responsibility
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a responsibility
the responsibility
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 to protect
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
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.
This
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 is because citizens can use public transport
instead
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 of private vehicles in
order
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 to
mtigate
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mitigate
 Co2 footprint.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 can reduce their consumption of goods in
order
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 to
mtigate
Correct your spelling
mitigate
waste
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.
In addition
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, citizens can recycle their goods as much as possible in
order
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 to alleviate
waste
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.
On the other hand
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, I would like to agree with those
people
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 who believe
look
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looking
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 after
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 is
responsibility
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the responsibility
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 of the lawmakers.
To begin
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 with, governments have
power
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the power
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 to impose
laws
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 to
preservation
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the preservation
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 of
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environment
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the environment
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. They can
introudce
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introduce
 harsh
laws
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 to set limits for air pollution from factories and cars.
Additionally
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, they can implement
laws
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 to reduce deforestation in
order
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protect
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to protect
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 natural resources .
Also
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, governments can impose taxes
in
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on
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garbage
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the garbage
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 in
order
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 to deter
people
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 to make too much
waste
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.
Morevoer
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Moreover
, governments can launch educational campaigns in
order
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 to raise
awarenss
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awareness
 among
public
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the public
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 about
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the improtance
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improtance
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importance
 of
protect
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protecting
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ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
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.
For example
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, the UK government organize several educational
program
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programs
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 in schools and workplaces to encourage
people
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 to
recycling
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recycle
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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waste
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, From my perspective , the government is fully responsible to protect
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 because they have
power
Change the article
the power
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 to impose strict
laws
Use synonyms
 and
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
 awareness among
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 via
organize
Wrong verb form
organised
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
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 campaigns.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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