The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005.

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005.
The provided line graph illustrates how many individuals participated in a group of sports
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
specific district over two decades.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
. It is evident that people had overwhelming interests in Rugby at the beginning and
on the contrary
with Tennis
at the end
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance,
while
Rugby constituted the highest point
in1985
Correct your spelling
in 1985
and recorded nearly 250 individuals,
this
game depicted a dramatic decline to touch the lowest point
at the end
of the period to meet with
Bedminton
Correct your spelling
Badminton
at 50 athletes.
However
, Tennis provided the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
game
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1985 after Rugby playing, it rocketed to hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2005 when boasted
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
well over 200
participatory
Replace the word
participants
show examples
.
Furthermore
, over the periods, Basketball and
Bedminton
Correct your spelling
badminton
registered a plateau trend.
While
they remained static, the number of
Baskeball
Correct your spelling
basketballs
surpassed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bedminton
by roughly a quarter as Basketball given nearly under 100 but
Bedminton
had exactly 50
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bedminton with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • participation
  • trend
  • significant increase
  • decrease
  • stability
  • popularity
  • regional interest
  • key trends
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • local leagues
  • school programs
  • media influence
  • public health initiatives
  • availability of facilities
  • competitive success
  • fluctuations
  • impact
  • major tournaments
  • notable players
  • local clubs
  • coaching programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: