These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

It is true that
men
are increasingly likely to take on the role of househusband,
while
more
women
than ever are the breadwinners in their families. There could be several reasons for
this
, and I consider it to be a very positive trend. In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. Equal rights movements have made great progress, and it has become normal for
women
to gain qualifications and pursue a career. It has
also
become socially acceptable for
men
to stay at home and look after their children. At the same time, the rising cost of living has meant that both marriage partners usually need to work and save money before starting a family.
Therefore
, when couples have children, they may decide who works and who stays at home depending on the personal preference of each partner, or based on which partner earns the most money. In my view, the changes described above should be seen as progress. We should be happy to live in a society in which
men
and
women
have equal opportunities, and in which
women
are not put under pressure to sacrifice their careers. Equally, it seems only fair that
men
should be free to leave their jobs in order to assume childcare responsibilities if
this
is what they wish to do. Couples should be left to make their own decisions about which parental role each partner takes,
according to
their particular circumstances and needs. In conclusion, the changing roles of
men
and
women
in the family are a result of wider changes in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.
Submitted by jannathsamia576 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. Your ideas are logically structured, and you have a clear introduction and conclusion. However, be sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide specific examples to support your points.
task response
Your response addresses the prompt and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, you could improve by providing more specific examples to support your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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