IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The presented pie chart illustrates the household spending of Japanese and Malaysian in 2010.

The presented pie chart illustrates the household spending of Japanese and Malaysian in 2010.
The supplied illustrations of pie charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
 the amount of household
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 in two different countries by 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in Japan people spend most on
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 for
Malaysian
Correct article usage
the Malaysian
show examples
 population other goods and services are in priority,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 it is interesting to note that for both countries food is the
last
Linking Words
 thing on what they would spend money
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
 As can be seen in the diagram Japanese society spend most on
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
 (29%), health care (24%) and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other goods and services (21%). Meanwhile, food and transport together take
roughly
Change preposition
up roughly
show examples
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
 of the chart.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: