Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of individuals present the view that sharing
information
Use synonyms
freely in each field of research, business and academia is beneficial,
whereas
Linking Words
others believe that some
information
Use synonyms
is extremely invaluable and posing too much of
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can cause major issues. I completely agree with the former opinion. On one hand, some people justifiably believe that sharing
knowledge
Use synonyms
as much as possible is a decisive factor in different approaches. It is undeniable that being knowledgeable plays a crucial role in the modern world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, distributing
information
Use synonyms
can solidify and
accelerates
Correct subject-verb agreement
accelerate
show examples
the progress of advancement. It can broaden a country’s horizons in order to utilize
this
Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
to enhance the circumstances in a particular aspect.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
measure can lead to a boost in the quality and efficiency of production in an economic atmosphere.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
sharing innovations and
knowledge
Use synonyms
companies like Apple and Samsung have made people’s lives simplified competitively. Each of them strives for a greater production method and makes more profit as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group of the population
debate
Correct subject-verb agreement
debates
show examples
that posing too much
information
Use synonyms
can cause major problems. They insist that some of
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
can be used in a harmful way and be a threat to the world.
However
Linking Words
, I do not find
this
Linking Words
argument convincing as rarely does it happen that the governments do not allocate the harnessing ways of using
this
Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, with these up-to-the-minute gadgets, it is essential for countries to anticipate crimes which are associated with new
information
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some governments do not authorize
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
show examples
some websites in their countries.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my view, sharing
information
Use synonyms
can augment progress. It plays a vital role
to prompt
Change preposition
in prompting
show examples
companies to introduce a greater product.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the governments give a head to anticipate limitations so as to abolish crimes.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
The essay shows a good level of clarity and structural coherence. However, make sure to organize your ideas in a way that continuously flows toward your conclusion. Some parts of the essay seemed a bit disjointed or disconnected from the other parts.
task response
You answered the task completely and provided clear ideas to support your answer. However, the ideas could be expanded more thoroughly for a higher score. The arguments, while relevant, could benefit from deeper analysis and a more comprehensive discussion.
examples
Ensure you provide specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. Some of your examples lack specificity and do not entirely support the point they are supposed to illustrate. Providing a factual or detailed example can help to make your arguments more convincing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: