a friend of yours is thinking of going on camping holiday for the first time this summer, he asked for your advice. write a letter to your friend, in your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice

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Dear Ali, I hope

this

letter finds you well that a camping holiday is the best choice of trip these days, I know you have

hectic

Correct article usage

a hectic

show examples

lifestyle

thus

you need calmness on holidays

besides

you live in

Correct article usage

a pulloted

show examples

pulloted

Correct your spelling

polluted

city so you need fresh air. if you go

Change preposition

apply

show examples

vacation on out of the city, you

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

feel fresh and you can enjoy

Correct article usage

an unintrupted

show examples

unintrupted

Correct your spelling

uninterrupted

view

on the other hand

camping is cost-effective for you. there are some drawbacks that are witnessed in camping holidays , you may suffer from

lake

Add an article

the lake

a lake

show examples

toilet

Fix the agreement mistake

toilets

show examples

thus

you should have a huge pack of water by yourself.

Although

in our city the weather is hot, in

Correct article usage

the mountain

show examples

mountain

Fix the agreement mistake

mountains

show examples

or jungle the weather is mild so do not think about

warm

Correct article usage

a warm

show examples

night. as you know I fancy natural locations if you want I can come with you , I have bought an offroad car recently

in fact

Add the comma(s)

, in fact,

show examples

we can enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves more

show examples

and more. I do recommend you to go to

Add an article

the mountain

a mountain

show examples

mountain

Fix the agreement mistake

mountains

show examples

in summer and forget anything about dessert because

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

can't stand in dessert for 24 hours in

this

season. best wishes Saed Tavazoie

Submitted by tavazoiesaed on Fri Aug 04 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve coherence and logical structure in the letter. Connect ideas in a more organized manner.

Coherence and Cohesion

Expand the greeting and closing sections to include more appropriate content for a letter. Focus on using appropriate conventions for letter writing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing a single idea per paragraph to improve clarity and coherence in the letter.

Task Achievement

Ensure that the response fully addresses all aspects of the task prompt, including discussing advantages and disadvantages of a camping holiday and expressing a preference for going camping with the friend.

Task Achievement

Try to use a more suitable writing tone for a formal letter, and focus on using appropriate language and expressions for the context of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

187 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adventure
serenity
outdoors
refreshing
hustle and bustle
inherent
foster
distractions
cost-effective
unpredictable
wildlife
adequate preparation
physical demands
researching
campsite
lasting memories
mutual interests

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