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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in childern. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side an give your opinion

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Some people think that the
government
 is responsible for the rise in
obesity
 among
children
. At the same ,time some people think it is the mistake of the
parents
. In my point of ,view there are some faults on both sides but the main
responsibilities
 should be taken by
parents
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides with some examples.
To begin
 with, the
obesity
 of
children
 is increasing
due to
 technological developments
as well as
 the consumption of fast
food
 and junk
food
, which are consumed by
children
 nowadays. If we consider the
responsibilities
 of both
government
 and
parents
 sides.
Parents
 should avoid fast
food
 and junk
food
, which are consumed by
children
 unless it may increase the
obesity
 of
children
.
Moreover
,
parents
 should try to provide physical
education
 lessons for their
children
, which may mitigate their
obesity
.
Due to
 technological advancement,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 plethora of
children
 are utilizing vehicles for their transportation, which may contribute to increasing body weight. In the modern era, there are a lot of foods, which may be contaminated with fertilizer or pesticides.
As a result
 of that,
Add an article
the body
a body
show examples
body weight
Correct your spelling
bodyweight
show examples
 of
children
 may increase with unbalanced chemical reactions in their bodies.
Hence
,
parents
 should take responsibility to organize
food
 habits among their
children
.
On the other hand
, the
government
 should take necessary measures to mitigate
this
 situation.
For example
, authorities should include physical
education
 lessons in the school curriculum, which may trigger the students to engage in physical activities in their early stages.
Consequently
, it may produce a positive result in
children
's health
as well as
 it may assist to drop
obesity
.
Furthermore
, the
government
 and
education
 departments should take action to prevent sales of fast
food
 and junk
food
 in the educational institutional cafe areas.
Additionally
, rules and regulations should be implemented to lower fast
food
 consumption by
children
. In conclusion, there are several
responsibilities
 for the
government
as well as
parents
.
However
, major
responsibilities
 to reduce
obesity
 among
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should be taken by their
parents
, who is most of their time staying with
children
. To reduce
obesity
 rising in
children
,
parents
 should monitor their
children
 and
also
 should give better physical
education
 lessons.
Submitted by n.piriyan997 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • public health campaign
  • dietary habits
  • physical education programs
  • junk food advertisements
  • regulations
  • childhood obesity
  • nutritional education
  • parental influence
  • supportive environments
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