the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.
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The given bar chart
,
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apply
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represents the data collected about
coffee
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and
tea
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consumption in
Sydney
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,
Melbourne
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, Brisbane,
Adelaide
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and
Hobart
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in Australia in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the Australian
citizens
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in these 5 cities went to a
cafe
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for buying or drinking
coffee
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or
tea
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while
Linking Words
, buying fresh
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
had the lowest percentage among
the
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apply
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Australians. During
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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4 weeks in the given country, most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
people
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the people
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bought their
coffe
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coffee
or
tea
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from a
cafe
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,
for example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the citizenz
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citizenz
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citizens
of
Melbourne
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,
Hobart
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and
Sydney
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consumed over 60% of their
coffee
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or
tea
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from a
cafe
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. Followed by Brisbane’s
citizens
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, 55% of
people
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in the city bought their needed
coffee
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or
tea
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from a
cafe
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and in
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Adelaide
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,Adelaide
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the percentage of
people
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buying their drinks from
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cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
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was a little bit lower than instant
coffee
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consumption by 50%. The second rank in the chart belongs to
consumption
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the consumption
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of instant
coffee
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in
Hobart
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, Brisbane,
Adelaide
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,
Melbourne
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and
Sydney
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by
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apply
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respectively recording about 55%, 53%, 50%, 48% and 45%.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
spot,
less
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fewer
show examples
citizens
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bought fresh
coffee
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or
tea
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.
Citizens
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of
Sydney
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and
Melbourne
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bought over 40% of their needed
coffee
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or
tea
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fresh
while
Linking Words
less than 40% of
people
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in
Hobart
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,
Adelaide
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and Brisbane bought fresh
coffee
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or
tea
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.
Submitted by eemami14 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, sydney, melbourne, adelaide, hobart, citizens, cafe, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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