The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2000 to 2007

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2000 to 2007
The bar chart reveals the data of
teenagers
, who spent
time
doing several activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007
Overall
, it could be observed that
teenagers
spent a lot of
time
watching
television
,
while
they spent a short
time
bowling from 2000 to 2007.
Moreover
, the spent
time
going to pubs, watching
television
and shopping gradually increased in the given period,
while
doing homework and doing sport decreased from 2000 to 2007
According to
the chart, the
time
spent on the activities of watching DVDs, and bowling, which was done by
teenagers
, was not stable in a given period.
Furthermore
, the
time
spent on bowling activities from 2002 to 2007 did not reach 5
hours
,
while
watching
television
reached the peak hour.
In addition
, watching
television
approximately reached 38
hours
by 2007.
On the other hand
,
teenagers
started spending below 10
hours
going to pubs and shopping in 2002.
However
, late in ,2004 both exceed 10
hours
.
Submitted by n.piriyan997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teenagers, time, television, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: