IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #health #person #services #companies #care
Everybody knows that health
services
 be private by day , so medical
services
 can earn too much money. So, many companies like work in medical
services
. İ
t
 has some advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, many company work in medical
services
 they open farms,
hospitals
, and medical equipment companies. Of course, both
government
 and private. some private company has good
services
 for medical servicesservis, but some departments and quality don'
t
 have them in
government
 that's why private servicesservis are so important to find all
services
.
For example
, Sanko Hospital is located in Gaziantep, and it is a private hospital. Many petitions can find good
services
 in that hospital, but many departments don'
t
 have them in
government
hospitals
. For
this
 ,reason Gaziantep public to choose go to a private hospital. They can get good
services
 there. Privete servis devalop for medical servis.
On the other hand
, many countries don'
t
 have private
hospitals
 in Korea, they don'
t
 need private medical
services
 because their governmentgaverment gives good
services
 in
government
hospitals
.
For instance
, Korea is the best one in the world for medical
services
 serves special in computer and radiotherapy. The example shows us, it is not an important private or
government
.
To sum up
, İf you want good
services
 you must make a powerful education system because if you have well education, you can do doctors, courses, or engineers about medical
services
, and they can develop your medical service
services
. İn my opinion, gavermentwork on the health system and should give big money for it
on the other hand
government
 should let to forwork private companies because racing gives us good quality so many company work for the be number one, it is possible good
services
 and it is a benefit for people they can find good quality.
Submitted by ares.grup on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: