The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the heated issues is the use of social
media
has increased dramatically in recent years. It led to the replacement of
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
meetings. Many
people
think that the use of virtual
platforms
does not have any disadvantages. In my opinion, it has both pros and cons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and its drawbacks, unfortunately, outweigh its advantages. There is no doubt that social networks are now becoming more popular. Thanks to
this
development,
people
now can contact each other and stay in touch with their friends anywhere and anytime.
Moreover
, these virtual
platforms
made a great contribution to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
the unemployment rate among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
. The most familiar example of
this
is that by the Tik Tok applications, content
creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
show examples
or
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
are known as official jobs in many parts of the world.
Nevertheless
, many
people
still prefer face-to-face meetings because they want to spend more time with family and friends. It seems quite clear that the use of social applications does have enormous advantages. Despite these above benefits, the replacement of social
media
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
face-to-face contact brings many drawbacks. The main impact of
this
development is that many
people
tend to stay at home all day without joining in any outdoor activities.
This
can lead to a decline in
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
of physical activity which can lead to heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
. It is proven that sitting in front of the screen might result in stroke among the youth. Take Vietnam as an example, many Vietnamese will have suffered from visual problems and heart diseases by 2050 if
this
condition continues.
In addition
, the overuse of social
media
can affect mental health.
This
can cause many severe consequences, especially depression.
On the other hand
, realizing the disadvantages of social
platforms
, many individuals decided to take part in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
clubs or do more exercises in order to boost both physical and mental health. In a nutshell, the disadvantages of the replacement of social
platforms
to
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
meetings outweigh its advantages. Everyone should strike a balance between using social
media
and interacting face-to-face in order to reduce the drawbacks of social
media
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • information
  • perspectives
  • maintain
  • genuine
  • miscommunication
  • misunderstandings
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • privacy concerns
  • online security risks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: