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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
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The two pie charts give information about the percentages of
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian household and the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 released by each
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating have the biggest
share
Use synonyms
 among Australian household
energy
Use synonyms
 use,
while
Linking Words
 the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of cooling stands
last
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 allocates to
water
Use synonyms
 heating, followed by other appliances. The first pie chart shows that the
share
Use synonyms
 of heating is the biggest
consumption
Use synonyms
 of Australian household
energy
Use synonyms
 usage with almost half of all
share
Use synonyms
.
Water
Use synonyms
 heating ranks second with 30%, and other appliances have a considerable
figure
Use synonyms
 among
energy
Use synonyms
 usage (15%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for lighting and cooling together is almost the same as that for refrigeration by a narrow margin of 7%. The biggest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 accounts for
water
Use synonyms
 heating with about one-third of all
share
Use synonyms
. Other appliances have a substantial
figure
Use synonyms
 in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 with 28%. There is little difference between the
figure
Use synonyms
 for heating and refrigeration, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the former is 15%.
Although
Linking Words
 cooling ranks
last
Linking Words
 with 3%, the
share
Use synonyms
 of lighting in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emission is considerable with approximately one-tenth of all
proportion
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, consumption, proportion, greenhouse, gas, emissions, water, share, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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