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Band 5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#poverty #countries #six #years #education #numbers
Giving
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to get free education and getting essential
skills
 are very beneficial for Individuals, especially in terms of reducing
poverty
 among
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 of any country.
However
, I think that it is not enough and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
also
 propose more working places for
people
. On the one hand, getting free
knowledge
 of how to read, write and calculate can boost someone's potential and
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can find a
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 and start
earn
Change the form of the verb
earning
show examples
 a living. These
skills
 are considered as a basis and
people
 getting them
while
 studying in school, so everyone
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 know them.
Therefore
, if everyone is acquainted with
this
knowledge
 it is hard to find a
job
.
Job
Add an article
The job
show examples
 market is very competitive nowadays and
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 is given to a person who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had an experience in the industry or who have had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong and very accurate
knowledge
 which is required for a
job
. But what can
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 with only essential
skills
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
do in
this
 situation? The expansion of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 market comes into a field. If
government
 gives more opportunities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
 with only basic
skills
, it is much easier to reduce
poverty
 in a country.
For instance
,
developing
Change preposition
by developing
show examples
 and concentrating on
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 area or a region with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
work
 opportunities,
Add an article
the
show examples
government
 can increase
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
Moreover
, there will be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fall
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who live under the line of
poverty
. Giving places to
work
 that require less
knowledge
 and no experience can boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of a region and everyone will have a beneficial impact.
To conclude
, giving a free education that requires no fees can have a great influence on
people
,
however
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 increase places for getting a
job
 to decrease
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 level of
poverty
.
Submitted by sevrukov.stepan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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