IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Men and women employed in full-time jobs have to share evenly household chores and caring for children at home. Do you agree or dissagree?

#men #women #jobs #household #chores #children #home #dissagree
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Male and female employed in full-time
ocupations
Correct your spelling
occupations
occupation
have to
share
Use synonyms
 evenly
household
Use synonyms
 chores and look after for at house. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
this
Linking Words
 trend can
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
 relationships among family members, and provide
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several reasons I believe
parents
Use synonyms
 employed in full-time jobs should
share
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 duties and
caring
Change the verb form
care
show examples
 for
children
Use synonyms
. Regarding
household
Use synonyms
 duties,
Use synonyms
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 responsibility between
parents
Use synonyms
 can
can
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
enhance relationships among family members.
This
Linking Words
 is because
this
Linking Words
 trend can relieve stress in women.
For example
Linking Words
, if the father
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cleaning and washing clothes,
while
Linking Words
 the
mother
Add a verb
ismother
wasmother
show examples
 responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cooking and looking after
Use synonyms
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
 in
household
Use synonyms
 chores among
partents
Correct your spelling
parents
 can make
marriage
Add an article
a marriage
show examples
 continue for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 time, which
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 chance of divorce
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society. When it comes to caring for
children
Use synonyms
, if the
parents
Use synonyms
collabroate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 look after their
children
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 can provide a positive
environment
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home for
children
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
,
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
 maybe help
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 school
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
,
whereas
Linking Words
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
 if their
children
Use synonyms
 get sick.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
collabroate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
collaborative
 among
parents
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 for
children
Use synonyms
 , which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 will become less vulnerable to get mental health issues namely, depression, anxiety, and
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
trees
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 mental health issues among
children
Use synonyms
 mean
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
pefromance
Correct your spelling
performance
 in
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more likely to improve.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I completely believe men and women who work in full-time jobs should
share
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 responsibilities and look after
children
Use synonyms
 at
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 development can
boosts
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
 relationships among households , and provide
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 at home.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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