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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Studies show that criminals get a low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Researchers have shown that the tendency of people to commit a
crime
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 is the result of lacking
education
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. It is asserted that educating criminals during the time they are imprisoned is the prime solution to reduce the increasing
crime
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 rates.
While
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 I claim that
this
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 method is beneficial to a certain extent, I believe that there are several better ways to tackle the problem. On the one hand, I admit that educating convicts is a rational option in terms of reducing the number of people getting involved in illegal activities. The primary reason is that
education
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 provides prisoners with essential vocational knowledge and training,
consequently
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 enabling them to get a job after returning to the community. Those acknowledged skills assist them in earning a living to pay for their living fees and look after themselves
as well as
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 their families, preventing them from relapsing into illegal acts, stealing or pickpocketing,
for example
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.
Moreover
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, should prisoners be educated thoroughly, it is feasible that they are aware of their faulty actions and look forward to embarking on their lives again.
Therefore
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, there is a likelihood of recidivism being reduced.
On the other hand
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, I contend that the given solution is not comprehensive in today’s society as it only benefits those who have already committed a
crime
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.
In addition
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, bringing criminology into academic programs for the youth is considered more advantageous. To be more specific, the future
crime
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 rate can effectively be prevented by imparting the drawbacks of committing a
crime
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 to students and admonishing them not to be involved in those illegal acts.
Furthermore
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,
besides
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 criminals getting a low level of
education
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, there has been a significant number of white-collar inmates,
such
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 as lawyers or businessmen, who pursue tertiary
education
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.
Thus
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, there is no point in providing them with in-prison teaching.
Instead
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, imposing extended and stricter punishments has a long-lasting impact on ensuring that they won’t make the same mistakes and
also
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 deterring people from thinking of carrying out a
crime
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. In brief,
while
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 educating offenders during their time in prison has several advantages, I recommend governors highlight the need of having
crime
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education
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 as a part of academic programs and implementing harsh punishments in an attempt to decrease the number of criminals.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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