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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduates degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduates degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #undergraduates #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
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The pie chart illustrates what Anthropology
students
Use synonyms
graduates
Change the verb form
graduate
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 the course from university ,
while
Linking Words
 the table shows what their salaries were if anthropologies are
woking
Correct your spelling
working
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 field after 5 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that lots of
students
Use synonyms
 took
part
Use synonyms
 in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 and
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 after graduate school
whereas
Linking Words
 the government and freelancer
sector
Use synonyms
 earns the highest salaries. Looking at the pie chart,
students
Use synonyms
 who
studies
Change the verb form
study
show examples
 anthropology
graduates
Fix the agreement mistake
graduate
show examples
 and began to work
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounted for 52% and
secondly
Linking Words
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 job was less proportion of full
time
Use synonyms
 which
was took
Change the verb form
took
show examples
part
Use synonyms
 in 15%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 12% of
students
Use synonyms
 were unemployed. the lowest
sector
Use synonyms
 which is work in
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 postgrad accounted for 5%. Both
not known
Add a hyphen
not-known
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 and
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 postgrad study
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 took
part
Use synonyms
 in 8%. The table shows that the government
sector
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 earns the highest amount of money which is 50% of $100,000+.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the freelancer consultant earns 40% of $100,000+ which is
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest
sector
Use synonyms
.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, part, time, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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