IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental probien of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and inciude any relevant examples from your own.

In recent years, it has been widely debated whether the extinction of certain plants and animals is the most pressing environmental issue of
this
Linking Words
 decade.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that the loss of biodiversity is a dominant concern, others believe that there are more urgent problems that need attention. From my perspective, I firmly agree that there are other critical issues that should be prioritized. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore both views and present my own opinion. On the one hand, the planet is undergoing significant environmental changes that contribute to a range of problems, making the extinction of specific
species
Use synonyms
 less pressing.
For instance
Linking Words
, the increasing global temperatures have led to global warming and profound shifts in ecosystems.
Consequently
Linking Words
, addressing the effects of greenhouse gas emissions should be given greater priority to mitigate climate change and ensure a habitable planet for future generations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the loss of plant and animal
species
Use synonyms
 can have devastating effects on both people and the ecosystem. The diversity of plant life,
for example
Linking Words
, plays a crucial role in maintaining agricultural productivity, which directly impacts public health by providing access to nutritious food and promoting clean air through trees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, certain
species
Use synonyms
 of animals are essential for regulating ecosystems.
For instance
Linking Words
, some animals are key to maintaining the balance of the food chain,
while
Linking Words
 others,
such
Linking Words
 as worms, are vital for soil fertility and plant growth.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the extinction of unique
species
Use synonyms
 remains a significant issue, I believe that the more urgent concern is global warming. Addressing climate change will not only help to mitigate environmental degradation but
also
Linking Words
 create a healthier environment in which endangered
species
Use synonyms
 can thrive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout, which is important for task achievement. However, to enhance the argument, consider providing more specific examples or data to support points made about global warming and extinction effects.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical and clear, with a good introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure to transition smoothly between ideas to maintain coherence, perhaps by adding linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more openly in some sections.
task achievement
The points about the impact of species loss on ecosystems and agriculture are relevant and insightful. To improve, you might expand on these points with specific examples, such as discussing specific endangered species and their ecological roles or economic importance.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You articulate a clear opinion and address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: