Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

In the

last

decade, the use of technology in our daily life is increased significantly.

Due to

this

trend

Add a comma

,trend

show examples

people are often filmed without

Change the verb form

being

show examples

conscious. In

this

essay, I will discuss the benefit and drawbacks of

this

situation and explain why I think it has more negative impacts than positive

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

on us. There is a main reason for thinking that

this

situation brings a benefit.

Firstly

, it is essential that people are informed when there is a camera which is recording the area

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

as if something happens you know that there is proof.

For example

, if you are

Change preposition

show examples

a train and somebody stole your wallet, you can ask for some help

Change preposition

from

show examples

the train company and, with the police’s support, have a chance to identify the burglar.

On the other hand

this

trend is useful for many businesses. First of all, a company can collect a lot of information about our characteristics and behaviours.

In other words

, for

them

Add a comma

,them

show examples

it is an easy way to find new solutions for selling products and services.

For

this

reason, customers should be aware of

this

, in order that they can pay attention to it and, maybe, avoid buying something

that is

not necessary.

Furthermore

, somebody can use technology to spy

other

Change preposition

on other

show examples

people, and

this

is a big problem because our privacy is

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dangerous. In conclusion, I believe that nowadays we are recorded everywhere and most of all without any

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

. Being filmed is a good thing if it is possible to prevent awful situations or find evidence, but not for other

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

Submitted by quarenghi.lisa on Sun Aug 06 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the course provider . In your letter , - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can move in.