More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern medicine, obesity is a major risk factor for many chronic diseases

such

as diabetes, cardiac arrest, liver dysfunction, and kidney disease. Unfortunately, people are becoming overweight increasingly. Sugar

craving

Fix the agreement mistake

cravings

show examples

and eating junk

food

are some of the probable causes of

this

situation. Health organizations have advertised against these false habits for a long time, but until now, their attempts have been unsuccessful. Some experts

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

believe that government could restrain

this

problem by reevaluating

food

prices based on their nutritional value. The more beneficial

foods

get lower price tags in

compare

Replace the word

comparison

show examples

to fattening ones. In

this

way, financial value will

be add

Change the verb form

be added

show examples

to their health benefits. Fast

foods

are places where you can find chip, quick, tasty and pretty unhealthy meal options. Fast

food

chains are increasingly growing all around the world and altering various

food

cultures in an unhealthy way. Their impact on society

are

Change the verb form

show examples

far reaching

Add a hyphen

far-reaching

show examples

and

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

urgent attention. Convincing the owners of

such

restaurants to raise

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their prices is a sensible solution. In

this

way,

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

foods

will become less appealing

while

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the restaurant owners wouldn’t face

financial

Correct article usage

a financial

show examples

crisis.

On the other hand

, many experts believe that

food

pricing is an extremely sensitive area and a simple mistake could lead to dangerous conditions

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

food

is a primary human need and poor people could face huge problems

Change preposition

show examples

any inflation in the

food

market.

Moreover

, governmental interruption

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

could intimidate

free

Correct article usage

a free

show examples

economy and freedom of people’s choices. In conclusion,

while

increasing the prices of junk

foods

offers potential benefits in order to

popularizing

Change the verb

popularize

show examples

high-nutritional

foods

, it

also

presents significant challenges in terms of restraining freedom of

choices

Fix the agreement mistake

choice

show examples

Submitted by amin.gerami on Sun Aug 06 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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