Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

It is asserted that dangerous

sports

should be restricted

while

there is an opinion that

people

should participate in

sports

activities

freely. After examining these different perspectives, I believe that

people

have the right to join any sport. On the one hand, there are many who claim that the government should forbid

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

adventure

sports

. The primary reason for

this

viewpoint is that some

sports

might have negative effects on participants.

For example

people

are afraid that getting involved in boxing or wrestling

marks

Verb problem

has

show examples

an adverse influence on athletes' characteristics, making them develop a violent proclivity.

In addition

, there is a likelihood of

people

being injured as they engage in

such

risky

activities

. Various unexpected cases are reported among players who take part in those dangerous

sports

Nevertheless

, I am of the opinion that

this

ban should not be imposed as I contend that the choice of experiencing

activities

which involve high levels of risk lies on each individual. There is a common belief that joining extreme

sports

increases the chance of being in danger.

However

, organisations that offer those

sports

services invest a large amount of money in facilities and

sports

equipment, and they

also

implement policies to guarantee players' safety. The probability of unforeseen situations is decreased as they are provided with thorough accompaniment by supervisors and coaches during their participation.

Moreover

, being involved in any field of sport means that

people

are inclined to get injured.

Thus

instead

of banning

such

adventure

activities

, I recommend the governors invest in facilities and rescue aids in an attempt that participants have a safe and appealing experience. In conclusion,

this

essay supports the idea that

people

should have the freedom to participate in any sport. I suggest that there is more support for guaranteeing

people

's safety,

instead

of imposing a prohibition on dangerous

sports

, which prevents

people

interested in adventures from experiencing.

Submitted by lamminhhuy78 on Sun Aug 06 2023

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task response

Task Response: You have covered both views and presented your own opinion clearly. However, make sure to address the specific points from the essay prompt in more detail and consider presenting a balanced discussion of the two views before stating your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and the essay is well-organized. To improve, use more linking devices to connect ideas and ensure that the progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next is seamless.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views

Scientific research should be the responsibility of government rather than commercial organisations. Do you agree?

Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?