the line graph shows total sales of gold in Dubai from January to December 2002. Sales are recorded in the local currency Dirhams.

The line chart illustrates
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
sales
of gold in Dubai
since
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from
show examples
January to December 2002.
Sales
are logged in the local currency Dirhams.
Overall
, there were fluctuations but
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
general trend stability. The average
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
was about 200
billions
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billion
show examples
. It did not grow
up in
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by
show examples
the end of 2002. In the first quarter, the
sales
increased rapidly from 200
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
to 350
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
.
Subsequently
, it dropped dramatically that the
sales
in July were roughly 33% of
it
Correct pronoun usage
those
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in March.
Next,
During the third quarter, it swift recovery in August but decreased back in September.
Finally
, as beginning, it
steady
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steadily
show examples
climbed back to 200
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. In comparison, the chart presents that the
sales
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
show examples
best in the first quarter but
regress
Wrong verb form
regressed
show examples
in the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
quarters. The highest amount was 350
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
in March and the worst was about 115
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
in July and September.
Submitted by eulerlin on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, billions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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