IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the line graph shows total sales of gold in Dubai from January to December 2002. Sales are recorded in the local currency Dirhams.

#line #sales #gold #dubai #january #december #currency #dirhams
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The line chart illustrates
total
Correct article usage
the total
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sales
Use synonyms
 of gold in Dubai
since
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from
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 January to December 2002.
Sales
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 are logged in the local currency Dirhams.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were fluctuations but
a
Remove the article
apply
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general trend stability. The average
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sales
Use synonyms
 was about 200
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billions
Change to singular
billion
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. It did not grow
up in
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by
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 the end of 2002. In the first quarter, the
sales
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 increased rapidly from 200
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billions
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billion
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 to 350
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billions
Change to singular
billion
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it dropped dramatically that the
sales
Use synonyms
 in July were roughly 33% of
it
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 in March.
Next,
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During the third quarter, it swift recovery in August but decreased back in September.
Finally
Linking Words
, as beginning, it
steady
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steadily
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 climbed back to 200
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billions
Change to singular
billion
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. In comparison, the chart presents that the
sales
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grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
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 best in the first quarter but
regress
Wrong verb form
regressed
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 in the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 quarters. The highest amount was 350
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
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 in March and the worst was about 115
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
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 in July and September.
Submitted by eulerlin on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, billions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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