Some people believe that the government is wasting their money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

The budget of the country is unquestionably one of the most prevailing and worrying aspects in any society, and its allocation should be taken seriously. A number of people consider spending money on the arts to be an inappropriate decision and reckon that there might be worthier methods
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
the government should actually invest these finances. On the one hand, developing art as a part of the culture and involving inhabitants
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
it could really bring some benefits.
Firstly
,
such
places like exhibitions, museums or theatres could be opened for citizens in order to help them socialise. The significant impact of real-life
contacts
Fix the agreement mistake
contact
show examples
has been already shown in a large number of experiments, it reinforces the importance of art for raising a mentally healthy generation.
Secondly
, tourists are more likely to visit a country full of wonderful and
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
show examples
sightseeing
Replace the word
sights
show examples
,
therefore
showing some masterpieces could eventually attract hundreds of travellers.
Consequently
, it should definitely
forces
Change the verb form
force
show examples
the government to spend some money on
this
sphere.
On the other hand
, I consider that there is plenty of evidence, that human being has enough things to upgrade.
Instead
of wasting money on sculpturing or decorating, the budget could be better invested in medicine,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system or childcare.
Therefore
, if the state wants to manage their finances properly, it might be more reasonable to start with some essential needs. For sure,
this
action would be higher appreciated by individuals, who actually understand the vital issues in modern society.
To conclude
, despite varying opinions, I believe that the best way forward is to continue
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving weak areas in any specific country. As soon as the basic things are satisfied, humans could take up
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art.
Submitted by sofsya.fedorenko.2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: