IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Topic: People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#topic #people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
Scince
Correct your spelling
Science
 has made our life easier and the
world
 smaller by Inventing and
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 many things
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the blessing of
communication
 and technology
people
 are now got the freedom to
work
 and live anywhere in the
world
 which had lots of pros.
People
 now can
work
 by sitting
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
 or anywhere
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
also
 .
Devlopement
Correct your spelling
Development
 in transportation reduced the worry about travel for
work
 and
communication
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 provide
people
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to
work
 from anywhere they want . There are so many pros of
this
 . The main advantage is
people
 are getting
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 to
work
 in different countries
as well as
 gathering and
exprencing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 something from
evrywhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
. Some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 pay
people
 small
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money
whereas
 other
country
Change the wording
countries
show examples
 give better
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
. In that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 good transportation made the path easy for them . For
exampale
Correct your spelling
example
,
people
 now can travel thousands of miles within a short time which removed the barrier to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 jobs in their own
residence
Fix the agreement mistake
residences
show examples
. Now
evryone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 can explore many job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 from any corner of the
world
.
On the other hand
 , for
communication
development
people
 now can earn from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. We can join any meeting and complete our
work
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 and
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 .
Moreover
 , every job circular we can get from
website
Add an article
a website
the website
show examples
 which made the
world
samller
Correct your spelling
smaller
.
However
 , there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
development
 that It became much easy to
leck
Correct your spelling
learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Information from any office . In conclusion, the pros are more than
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
 for the
development
 . I think the advantages of
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
communication
 and transformation surely overweigh
th edisadvantages
Correct your spelling
the disadvantages
 of
this
development
.
Submitted by humyranurm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: