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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table illustrates that how many people who aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries.

The table illustrates that how many people who aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries.
The table illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how many people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that there was a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 decline in
Japan
Use synonyms
 from 1940 to 1960. It was about 5% fall to near 3%.
Then
Linking Words
, the tendency was
remain
Change the verb form
to remain
remaining
show examples
 stable from 1960 to over 1980 in
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the
trend
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
was increasing
was increased
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and over 2000. Followed by the
trend
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, there was a
smoothly
Change the adverb
smooth
show examples
 rise from over 2000 to 2030.
Then
Linking Words
, from 2030 to 2040,
Japan
Use synonyms
 has a
dromatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
increase
Use synonyms
, it was about 10% to 25%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the tendency become
smoothly
Change the word
smooth
show examples
 from 2030 to 2040.
Besides
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Sweden had a smooth
increase
Use synonyms
 in 1940 and 1960. It
is give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information that the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 65 and
over65
Correct your spelling
over 65
 rise from 7%to 8%.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there was a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 from 8% to 13% between 1960 and 1980.
However
Linking Words
, from 1980 to 1990, there was a
decline
Change the verb form
declining
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
 and the figure falls from 13% to 11%.
Next,
Linking Words
there were two tendencies
increase
Use synonyms
, one was
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2010, and another was from 2030 to 2040. But there was a slow decrease between these two trends.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 a
similarty
Correct your spelling
similar
similarity
trend
Use synonyms
 from 1940 to 1980 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 by the countrySweden. Both of these trends
increase
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there was a stable
trend
Use synonyms
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1980 to 2020.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there was a sharp rise from 2030 to 2040 which is similar to
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the tendency of
Japan
Use synonyms
 was more
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 than other countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that, next, ".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, trend, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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